Newsletter by Joe King
February 26, 2008

Well it's that time of the month again. Time to do a newsletter for the millions of adoring fans out there clamoring to find out exactly what is up with the greatest pop punk band in the world. *Please don't tell Teenage Bottlerocket I said that-I don't want them to attack me with their pocketbooks next time we meet. Or beat me to death with a vegetarian burrito. Back in the day I'll have all you young whippersnappers know we were the real deal.We shot heroin and drank Bud (out of the can of course) morning noon and night. The Ramones first three albums and Black Flag Damaged were the soundtrack to our desperate desperate existence. If we saw an old lady crossing the street carrying groceries we knocked her to the ground and stole her cat food which was the only nourishment we recieved. We would no more pay a bill on time than dress up for Sunday dinner. Rent was an ugly four-letter word best left to wanna-be punks, not to us bad boys. Oh yeah we were the real deal. Nowadays you have all these little college educated hippies masquereding as punks trying to look like drug addicts-we were drug addicted punks trying to look like-well not like drug addict punks haha. Ok ok I'll stop. But sometimes I look around at what the whole punk scene has become and it makes the bile rise in my silver throat. And I don't like bile rising in my silver throat all that much anymore (though it was a daily occurence for a while).
Let's see-we'll be going out on the Asian Man Records tour with Lemuria, Bomb The Music Industry, Andrew Jackson Jihad and Kepi Ghoulie. That starts May 23rd and goes till June 21st. At which time we'll head towards Baltimore for the Insubordination Fest with Kepi and some friends from Australia-The Colytons. Mike Park the CEO and boy wonder at Asian Man set up the whole thing with our booking agent so if you don't like it complain to them. Just kidding, it's going to be a blast. One thing I really like about Asian Man is that Mike has bands that don't all sound the same. I mean in my humble estimation the reason the pop punk scene isn't that great now is that there aren't any really good bands anymore. Hey do me a favor. Go to myspace.com/expulsados and check them out. The singer sang for Marky this past summer when Dave and I played with Marky. Their album Cuarto Para Espectros is a classic. They have a sound akin to Joey Ramone's solo album. I mean they are head and shoulders above any of these lame-ass pop punk bands singing about the prom or some jock stealing their ugly girlfriend or some other lame shit. I am telling you get the album. It's all in Spanish but don't let that stop you-you'll be singing along. Plus the singing is right on key too. Man that drives me crazy listening to bands sing off key.
What else? Matt Drastic is hard at work building his recording studio in Nashville. I am producing The Front (from Wyoming) at Matt's sometime in May. When he gets it all done I'll do a newsletter so everyone knows how to contact him. It's going to be great so if anyone wants to record at a good price with someone that knows and loves pop punk call Matt. God Save The Queers is doing really well so I am psyched about that. It really came out great. Dangerous Dave is out in San Diego disfiguring the countryside and recording an album with his band The Bugs. Not sure when it's coming out but I'll do a newsletter and let everyone know. I mean since Matt and I heard the first note of the immortal "Lesbo Lesbo" by The Bugs we were instant fans. How could you not be? It's amazing stuff. Speaking of amazing stuff Wimpy and me and Tulu have talked on the phone but the fierce rush of life has prevented us from actually sitting down in the same room and getting any work done on The Drunken Cholos album. We'll do it before I leave NH or my name ain't Joe Queer. I am up here for a while dealing with family stuff. My sister isn't doing well at all I am afraid so I go up and see her every day to give what support I can. Which I am afraid isn't much at this stage of the ballgame but I do what I can, which at the end of the day is all you can do when you get right down to it. Life's a learning experience isn't it? On a happier note my other sister Heather, the allegedly 'healthy' one, had her new book come out yesterday. It's called Redeemed and the publisher is Viking. She's in our top friends list on myspace so just go there and get the lowdown. Heather did a cross country trip last summer by car and is hard at work on a book about that trip and yours truly will be front and center in that puppy. Before I headed to Europe for tour I was in constant contact with her guiding her to all the good hotels and shortcuts across the US. Years of touring have taught me a thing or two about driving cross country and she soon found out just how wise I am to the ways of the road. Who else but me would tell her to go in to the Austin Motel and mention she's a writer on a cross country jaunt and get a 40 dollar discount in the bargain? You can read all about it in the next book but till then you should go to your local bookstore and talk to the pompous know-it-all behind the desk and order Redeemed. And when you do, make sure you email Heather and tell her how you liked her book. She is nothing if not available so email her as soon as you read it. Tell her you love it and you have a friend for life trust me. These eyes are half blind by a lifetime of camera flashes but my sister-God love her-is still new to all this stuff and she looks at an email from a fan like Cortez gazing in wonder at whatever it was he gazed at in wonder. She loves to make new friends and talk about books and has nothing better to do so yeah-contact her if you want. Ok on that sunny note I must take my leave this morning. I have many errands to run. The least of which is to get my Mom an ID. I took her to the bank yesterday and when they asked for ID she didn't have any. She had cut up her credit card as well as her driver's license and was packing her Social Security card for ID!! As Heather wryly noted, showing your Social Security card for ID went out with the Eisenhower administration haha. Have a nice day and I sure do thank you kindly-Joe Queer
PS-I will be listing all the tour dates on myspace in a few days.
PPS-You better come to the show or I'll have Wimpy kick your sprout-eating ass big time.
PPPS-No Wimpy isn't coming on tour but he'll still fly out and kick your ass if I tell him too. This is a threat not to be taken lightly I assure you. Just ask the dumb motherfucker who got his ass kicked by Wimpy in Genova at Fitzcarraldo a couple of years ago.